Is President Obama doing all he can do to secure equality for LGBT Americans?

Gay couples can't file joint Federal income tax returns in the USA. Is this taxation without representation?

Sunday, February 26, 2012

I'm Here

I wrote this poem when I was 25 years old. Oddly enough, it still applies to my life after all these years.

Write me a letter
Drop me a line
Dial my number any time
Cause I'm here

It doesn't matter
What we've said
Or what kind of lives we've led
I'm still here

I can't be held responsible
For what my daddy did
He was an abuser and I was just a kid
But I'm here

I was a victim
As much as you
I was abused by my daddy too
And I'm here

I've tried to erase the pain
I've looked to death and hoped to gain
An end to all the misery
But even death avoided me
I'm still here

Many sisters and brothers
Nieces nephews and others
Many not knowing me anymore
Not knowing what I'm living for
But I'm here

Once I lived for all of you
I tried to be who you wanted me to
What good is being in a family
If I can't be who I want to be
So I'm here

I'll always be a phone call away
But I no longer wait to hear you say
How much you love me or how much you care
Why wait for something that was never there

I'm here

Monday, January 30, 2012

Will the world end in 2012?

I recently had a strange dream that led me on an investigative path to discover truth in our world. In the dream, it was the 4th of July, and I walked out into my back yard to see fireworks bursting in the NorthWestern sky above our home in Illinois. What I witnessed, in my dream, was a UFO, flying among the fireworks. It was round, and it was spinning, and it was lit up like a Christmas tree. This dream inspired me to seek out the TV series "Ancient Aliens" and revisit what I'd learned watching it last year. I was delighted to find a second season of the series on Netflix, and I watched all 10 new shows. It's truly fascinating. The theory the series presents is that there is a strong connection between the pyramids of Egypt and Mexico, and in landscape designs in Peru etc., and the rapidly increasing UFO reports and videos going viral on the web. There is very compelling evidence that this connection is real. For example, the ancient Mayans made many predictions in their famous calendar and hieroglyphs that came true. The Mayans predicted, to the exact date, when white, bearded Gods would arrive on sea vessels and create destruction and chaos. What they called Gods were the Spaniards who attacked them and drastically reduced their numbers during the famed Spanish Inquisition. The Mayans, who are as famous for their prehistoric pottery, could not have possibly built their pyramids with the technology they had on Earth. The question is, who helped them? Many believe they were helped and warned by extraterrestrials. Like modern man, not all Mayans believed in the prophesy, but those who saw destruction coming saved their race and moved on into the new world, preserving their ancient culture when and wherever possible. In recent years, the Mayan code has been unlocked, and the secrets they shared are shocking. The Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012. The translations detail a knowledge of astronomy that wasn't discovered by the white man until recently, in historic terms. How did the Mayans know that the Earth would align with other planets and the sun? How did they know that black holes existed, when our own science has just discovered the first real black hole in the past decade? We cannot ignore these facts, and they are very well documented and indisputable. 

After hundreds of hours of researching each phenomena, such as Stone henge and most recently, the Georgia Guide Stones, and the New World Order conspiracy theories, I'm coming to a conclusion that I didn't expect to find. Yes, our governments are keeping secrets. That's never been a secret. You can't get close to area 51, it's true, but guess what, you can't get close to any military installation. It is and always has been a matter of National Security. Imagine if the press had access to nuclear weapons. Now that's scary. And so, this secrecy is not shocking. If a New World Order is defined by government control, we are already there friends, and have been for all our lives. Stupid laws put good people in jail every day. Smoke some weed, go to jail. Refuse to pay taxes because your equality isn't guaranteed, and go to jail. Healthcare and food are for the rich, not the poor. Outside the bubble of Capitalism, death from starvation and preventable illness kills millions. Somehow, we are okay with that, as long as its not in our own back yard. Just ask the Mayans today how this new world is working out for them. Not very well. Without a credit card or a corporation telling you when to clock in and where, most Americans are screwed. Isn't credit the real mark of the beast? Doesn't the police brutality during the "Occupy" protests and MidEast uprisings just reek of a world-wide police state? Aren't we already living under a corporately controlled New World Order that we contribute to daily with every gallon of gas we buy, or the plastic bottle of water we fill the land and oceans with? By the way, that bottle of water costs more per gallon than the gas in the USA, so switch to the tap and save some cash. If someone is going to poison your water, it'll be a hell of a lot easier to do in an bottle. And are we not leaving carbon footprints behind for our grandchildren to clean up after? Of course we are. Humanity is a cancer to planet Earth, and here I was thinking I coined the phrase, only to discover it inscribed on the Georgia Guide Stones. I was curious to see what they actually said, after hearing about them in so many shows and YouTube videos, but never being told precisely what they outline. Below are the 10 points made on these stones. Some call them commandments, but that is an inaccurate description. Nothing is commanded, but simply guidelines that, in the opinion of those who erected this monument, are in the best interest of the planet and the continuation of our species. Below each guideline, you will find my opinion. 

Georgia Guide Stones

1) Maintain humanity under 500 million in perpetual balance with nature.
My opinion: This says to maintain under 500 million, it says nothing about killing off 90% of the world population. While it is easy for conspiracy theorists to find evidence of a Bilderberg, illuminati, New World Order conspiracy to "cull" the population, this monument makes no mention of such a thing. Is it not conceivable that this monument was erected in the same fashion as the famous Stone Henge in England because it is a continuation of the ancient prophesy that Stone Henge implies, the end of days in a celestial event that we can watch for, using the very markers that stand, aligned with the stars? Could the message really be another warning that something from the sky will destroy the planet, and a New World is coming, and cannot be prevented? Even the bible implies that the Earth will be destroyed by fire. Could this be a warning, in conjunction with the Mayan prediction that our planetary alignment, the position of the black hole, and the solar activity  peek we are now finding ourselves entering is imminent? This makes more sense to me than a mass depopulation of 90% of the planet by rich people who want the world for themselves. Have you ever tried to get rid of cockroaches or mice? Good luck with that. I fail to believe that a bunch of entitled, stuck up hogs are capable of controlling anything but their own bank accounts. Secret societies, sure, but their ability and willingness to kill mankind, not so much. This isn't ancient scripture, it's recent, man made text from 1979. The language is clear. Maintain doesn't mean destroy. Modern Christianity wouldn't accept these guidelines, and so it makes sense they would refer to them as anti Christ. Being a gay man with no intention of reproducing, I believe I have less reason to trust mainstream Christianity than I do, R C Christian, the anonymous person who contracted the construction of these stones. One thing is indisputable, there is definitely an imbalance of nature when there are more people to eat the creatures that naturally occur in nature. As my bow hunting nephew says, "If people had to live off the land, all the game animals would be gone fast! And he's absolutely right. We've been breeding and genetically modifying livestock and produce for far too long, and it's stripping the land of its natural bounty. Ask yourself is this really what our creator intended? Is this harmony? I think not. 

2) guide reproduction wisely improving fitness and diversity. 

My opinion: Isn't it funny how we don't take to the streets to protest the long standing laws in China that dictate how many children a family can have? As long as it doesn't affect us here, why should we care right? Most of us don't agree with these laws, but neither can we imagine the consequence of not having them in place for so long. 7 billion people, sucking up oil and water and digging up the earth for cultivation and building are bound to have an adverse affect on nature. The average American doesn't bother to plant trees or flowers, but they sure don't mind popping out 2.5 clones they can't take care of, much less raise with any amount of social responsibility. In 2000, I wrote a song called Decade of Gay. The lyrics describe how just one decade without procreation could resolve many of the worlds worst problems like homelessness and starvation and chaos. That's not going to happen. If you think the same God who created humans approves of the planetary devastation we commit, the you're not worshipping a God that loves all creation at all, are you? and what's wrong with fitness and diversity? Isn't the goal of every species to ensure its survival through passing on the best genes?

3) unite humanity with a living new language

My opinion: Good news friends,  no more pressing 1 for English! If your frustration is that you don't understand your neighbor, you won't have to worry about it again. 

4) rule passion, faith, tradition, and all things with tempered reason

My opinion: Passion is a double edged sword. Ever heard of passion killing? Feeling passionately about faith can lead one to violate the very faith they believe in. I've witnessed this first hand through judgmental Christians, violating their own bible to tell me I'm going to hell. Judge not, lest ye be judged, right. There's no tempered reason behind the so called Christians in Uganda trying to create laws that kill gays who do not give birth to the many AIDS babies starving in their 3rd world country. Imagine what these heathens could accomplish if they focussed their hatred and resources for the betterment of their society, rather than killing innocent gay people who harm nobody. There's a big difference between being passionate and compassionate. 

5) protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts

My opinion: It's easy for those of us living in the land of the World Police to believe that we are in a real democracy, but we never have been. If this were a democracy, everyone would have equal opportunity, and that is clearly not the case. 1% of our country's population controls 40% of our wealth. If that's Capitalism, you can keep it. When 1% use their wealth and power to control our laws and keep us working like dogs without paying a living wage, while affordable healthcare isn't accessible, it's a shame, not a democracy. When people with money can literally get away with murder, while the poorest people spend years behind bars for smoking or selling weed, it's not equality. Alcohol is legal, and accessible and making big corporations richer. They like dumbing us down, and they will do anything to prevent the mind opening experience and medical benefits that marijuana provides. You can get as high as you want on prescription drugs, and lots of people do, but heaven forbid you should smoke a joint in America! And let's not forget the sodomy laws that ignored Hetero-oral and anal sex. Only gay men were targeted by them. Anal sex doesn't lead to unwanted children. 

6) let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court

My opinion: This doesn't sound like a doomsday apocalypse that will be expected to kill everyone on the planet to me. How will they weed us out and pick and choose who survives? They can't, but they can anticipate the events, predicted by the ancients, and assume that people of many nations will survive. A world order is just that, order in a chaotic world. That's not as scary as a solar flare forcing us all into holes in the ground, is it. The World court deals with inter-national crimes. We already have the United Nations. Just imagine them actually doing their jobs. George Bush would have been put out of our misery the moment he committed his first war crime, in violation of the Geneva Convention. 

7) avoid petty laws and useless officials

My opinion: See all my previous opinions. The UN the Supreme Court in the USA, and indeed, the Geneva Convention itself are useless and worthless in protecting the best interests of humanity. 

8) balance personal rights with social duties

When your right to free speech violates my right to live freely, there's a hole in our system. Three words, God Hates Fags. I can defend free speech, but I refuse to defend hate speech. The distinction is clear to those of us with a conscience. We have a social duty to respect each other. This is no different from the biblical guideline which says, "Do unto others as you'd have done unto you". It's unfortunate that so many Christians defend Leviticus more than they do this golden rule. 

9) Prize truth, beauty, love, seeking harmony with the infinite

My opinion: The truth is the most important thing that anyone can find for themselves. All thinking creatures seek the truth. Where is the food? Who is God? Why are we here? Where did we come from? The most intelligent people I know are not the ones who sit back and take any words out of ANY book, apply blind faith and call it truth. Never take yes for an answer friends, unless you've confirmed it for yourselves. Don't take my word for that, unless it makes absolute sense to you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or is it? Natural beauty is all around us. Tourists flock to beaches by the billions. Poetry is written about mountain tops and flowers and lakes and trees. I find beauty in every human being, even it requires me to picture a bitchy adult as an innocent child. We have all been beautiful, at one time or another. Isn't it a shame that our beauty isn't nurtured by the love we all long for and deserve? Love is universal. It is the opposite of hate. If this monument was erected by devil worshipers, then where is the word hate? Sure, my satanist friends will chime in and say they don't hate, but your monster music says something different. It's like listening to the cookie monster on crack singing the praises of demons. That's not love, and hate is not prescribed or implied anywhere on this granite document. 

10) be not a cancer on the earth, leave room for nature, leave room for nature

There's that word again, cancer. Who is a cancer on the earth? Corporations! They dig up oil and reroute our natural waterways, only to pollute the planet for the greed of wealth. I am a cancer on the planet right now too, and so are you. Every gallon of fuel we burn, every piece of plastic we dispose of, and every tree that is cut down to build our home effects nature, and creates an ecological imbalance. The unchecked audacity of our species to claim self superiority over every other biological and botanical life form is really destructive and unsustainable. The bible says be fruitful. It doesn't say anything about ripping out the Rainforest lungs of the planet, or forcing other species into extinction. The creator "himself" can surely not be satisfied with the collective weapon of mass destruction that humanity has become. News flash. Billions of people are starving around the planet. On a global scale, we US citizens are the 1% hoarding the food, water and energy resources while the rest starve and suffer. We should really all be living off the grid, but we are addicted to our own culture of fast food and media distraction. We are the Old World Order, and that has to change before we end up eating ourselves. Why shouldn't we leave room for nature? What has nature ever done to harm us? Be good to nature, and nature will be good to you. Anyone who has ever planted a garden can tell you that. 

In closing, no, I'm not convinced that aliens have been or will return to the Earth. I'm at as much of a loss as anybody to explain these ancient structures. I do, however, believe in solar flares, and the scientific discovery that our Earth's magnetosphere has a gaping hole that leaves our planet vulnerable to solar radiation. Yes, wealthy people are building underground condos, but they can't control the sun, or where its radiation settles, or can they? Perhaps the HAARP program is being used for the purpose of controlling the impending radiation more than it is to control the weather. HAARP is a series of 72 ft talk antennas which  can direct electromagnetic waves that can create and move cloud formations. Since radiation could, hypothetically, be moved electromagnetically as well, I'm more inclined to believe that it's what HAARP is for. Does that mean these antennas are any less vulnerable to a direct hit from the sun, no.  Does the government know what's coming, of course they do. Is there a conspiracy to hide the truth? Of course there is. If every news anchor went on the air and told the world that a catastrophic event was coming, and when, you would witness social unrest and chaos that would put everybody on the planet at risk. I'm inclined to believe that solar flares could come in stages, and many will see them coming and try to prepare. For some, that means collecting canned food, living off the grid, and/or seeking shelter underground. For others, it would mean, "These are my last days and God isn't going to help me, so I'm going to rob you and live my last day like a king". Personally, I see no reason why anyone wouldn't want to have a gun handy, just in case. We can't trust our governments to protect us now, what would make anyone think we can trust them in the future. Hurricane Katrina was just a preview of what we can expect. Of course FEMA has built a bunch of prisons and stockpiled coffins. It's called catastrophe preparedness, and I do believe they know a lot that we do not about what could be coming our way. With every stage of the cataclysmic solar flare events we could experience, there will be social unrest and a need to imprison looters and thieves. There would be a need for caskets, in order to humanely bury the massive numbers of dead that this destruction could bring. If they were planning on just dumping our bodies into a landfill, like the Nazis, they wouldn't need caskets. The so called FEMA camps would be a necessary safe place for families to go, in order to escape chaos and homelessness. Why wouldn't they be designed to keep people from coming and going. It's security. I'm not advising anyone to sign up for a trailer. I'm just saying that things could get so bad that you might wish you had a reservation at one of these camps by the time it's all over. Is December 21, 2012 the end of the world? I don't think so. However, I can't ignore the ancient Mayan predictions, or their accuracy to date any more than I can explain them, and so it just makes sense to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. One thing is for certain, New World Order conspiracy, natural catastrophe or anything else of such a grand scale cannot be avoided by mere mortals like you or me. So don't lose sleep over something you cannot control. If you have faith in a God, then put your trust in your creator and pray for yourselves and your families. If you believe in an afterlife, you have nothing to worry about at all. Put it in God's hands. 

Thursday, January 5, 2012

I do not hate Ted Haggard

Those who follow me can imagine that this past week has been very stressful for me. I made the decision to share private details about my connection to Ted Haggard, and it stirred up quite a stink. I've continued to avoid the media, for now, as I don't see how it would benefit anybody for me to give a detailed interview before Ted is questioned by them first and has his opportunity to respond with the truth. He was my friend, and I loved him. I still care about Ted and his family, which is why this was so hard to do. I had to weigh the pros and cons, and I determined that my tens of thousands of gay friends and fans deserve the truth. I've been in touch with Ted via Facebook and we have literally written a novel between us, that details my concerns and his inability to comprehend them. While Ted and I do not see eye to eye on same sex marriage or what he perceives as "God's best plan" for me. I've tried very hard to stay his friend, hoping that his thinking would evolve and that I could eventually help him understand that separate is never equal. His statements are damaging, and create a second class citizenship within his church. He says he's evolving. I'm not willing to write him off just yet. There are a lot of good things about this man. He has helped impoverished and addicted people, and that's more than most do. He doesn't want to be put into anybody's box, and he doesn't describe himself as bisexual. That's his prerogative, but his same sex attraction continues, regardless of the words used to describe it. There is no shame in same sex attraction. The shame comes from denying it, allowing his wife to claim that he's been healed of it, and judging my same sex attraction as less than what God wants for us. He is willing to help Gary Busey marry his girlfriend, but he wouldn't consider officiating my civil union ceremony. If I'm not equal to him, in his own mind, then I cannot continue to support his efforts to "resurrect" himself. 

I am a bisexual Christian. I was born with same sex attraction, and it showed at a very early age. Ted and I share a childhood trauma. We were both victims of child molestation. While Ted apparently spent his life thinking his molester made him this way, I see it differently. The man who molested me when i was 12 years old, specifically picked me to molest because he knew I had a secret, and to keep my secret, I had to keep his. It's taken years of living an open life for me to understand this. I can forgive Ted for catching up at his own pace. It's a process. I didn't even realize I had been molested until I was 16. I spent 4 years of my life blaming myself for what an adult did to me. Ted says that he never claimed to be healed of anything other than his childhood trauma. I'd say that's a miraculous healing, considering the decades of damage molestation caused me. I spent much of my adult life thinking I was only worth what people would pay me for sex. The gifts the molester gave me to keep quiet, introduced me to prostitution, and it made sexual intimacy and love two separate things in my mind for so long, ruining my relationships before they started. 

Ted and Gayle's relationship is real. They do love each other and support each other. They've been together for 33 years, and have raised a beautiful family together. I'm not trying to wreck anybody's home. I don't think that's possible here. My blog was as much a confessional as an exposé. I did wrong. I am in a monogamous relationship, and for me to lust after Ted, and share in sex talk on the phone was a violation of my own principals. My spouse and I have been together almost 20 years, and he deserves better from me than that. 

I've been an equality activist and a citizen journalist since 2007.  I've been friends with Ted Haggard for almost 2 years. Let me be very clear about this, it wasn't until November, 2011 that Ted shared with me how my partnership would not be accepted in his church. That's the reason I'm doing this. As my friend, he cannot treat me, or anyone like me, less than equal. I have too much love for myself to allow that. As with all my reporting, if it's affecting me, it's probably affecting others, and should be shared. This doesn't mean that I want to read nasty, unfounded comments about Ted. Unlike the other two men who had sexual experiences with Ted, Mike Jones and Grant Haas, I have nothing to gain, financially or otherwise by telling my truth. I'm not writing a book, doing a one man show, accepting any pay off or going on TV to discuss this matter. I'm just getting it all off of my chest right here, and a clear conscience is all I want. 

As I stated in my previous blog, I anticipate backlash, from the gay and Christian communities. I can handle it. I have thick skin. What I won't tolerate are lying idiots like child sex offender Nelson Garcia talking smack about me online. Garcia was convicted in 2003 for attempting to lure a young boy, under age 16, into sex. This creep shouldn't be allowed on the Internet, much less the freedom to blog. He claimed to be my biggest fan until I discovered what a perv he was and told him to f--k off for good. Child molesters are not a part of the LGBT community, and we gays are as disgusted by them as anyone. I'm not going to increase his page views by providing a link to his lies. Instead, I'm sharing this link to his sex offender page with his photo and address. I've reported him to google for violating my photo copyright, and his blogging days are numbered. That's not a physical threat. I wouldn't touch him with a 12 foot pole. I'm just saying that I'll file a restraining order against him if I have to, but I'm not going to let this child molesting piece of crap keep lying about me. He's not a gay activist. He is a predator.

Click here to see his sex offender page

Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Naked Truth About Ted Haggard

The Naked Truth About Ted Haggard

Now that Wife Swap is about to air, and my old friend Ted Haggard is sharing his life with the world, he is, no doubt, expecting newfound fame and fortune, to replace the old ones he lost in 2006. For those who haven't followed the story, Pastor Ted was the founder of New Life Church in Colorado Springs. He was caught lying to reporters in 2006 about a sexual encounter he had with a male prostitute , and using crystal meth. Once the truth was exposed, Ted and his family were basically kicked out of Colorado and the church, and Ted signed an agreement that prohibited him from talking about the incident and the church for years. I had covered his story from the beginning in my various avenues of reporting in the capacity of a citizen journalist. I talked about Ted on the radio, here in Lake County, IL. I covered his story for Radio Gay International Network, and Canada's Indie Talent Network. I blogged about it and detailed the scandal repeatedly in my Gay News videos. I wanted the real truth about Ted Haggard. I never imagined I'd actually get it, but eventually, I did.

I found Ted on Facebook back in Feb of 2010. I had just uploaded a slew of racy promo photos for my gay news web series, and they were definitely attention grabbers. I was shocked when Ted replied to a message I sent him, with a friend request. He was very kind and sweet. I admit that my initial motivation for contacting Ted was not even clear to me at this point. A part of me still hated him for his anti homosexual agenda, which I had been informed of repeatedly in the news. That same video of him, over and over again taking about how the bible tells us what we should think about homosexuality etc.  Ted seemed desperate to justify himself to me, a gay man. He insisted that the video clip was taken out of context and that he is not a homophobe. He insisted that the media had exaggerated and lied about the depth of his relationship with Mike Jones, the male escort. Ted told me that he didn't have an intimate relationship with this man and there was no love. There was no intimacy, just Mike Jones masturbating Ted to climax. Ted did not consider himself to be gay or a drug addict. Sensing his distrust in me, I understood that if I wanted to get to the truth about Ted Haggard, I would have to become his friend, but how? Making friends has never been a problem for someone like me. I'm very outgoing. I know how to use my appeal to draw someone in and keep their attention. Ted would prove to be a bit of a challenge. I had to meet him face to face. Only then could I really know if there was enough chemistry to captivate him. I got that chance a month later when he and his wife Gayle gave a presentation at a church in Kenosha Wisconsin. I put on my butchest jeans and shirt and went to church. I was finally going to meet Ted Haggard. The object of my journalistic curiosity, in the flesh.

Here's where it gets racy, so if you're under 18, you may want to just head to about now. Meeting Ted was a turn on. His teeth are perfect and his hair is so pretty. He clearly takes good care of himself, and why not? He is a public person. He recognized me immediately after the service, as I headed towards the exit, and he hugged me, not one, not two, but three times before I left the building. His lips touched my ear as he whispered to me, "Chaz, God loves you." my knees went weak and I almost hit the floor. I squeezed him tightly, to keep standing up, and the awkwardness of the moment found us chest to chest, inhaling each others breath. I don't know if anybody else picked up on it, but there was certainly chemistry there.  It wasn't long before Ted and I were on the phone, and I made a promise to him to maintain total secrecy about anything he shared. What I've since learned is that a promise is only as good as the person who you make it to.

In the years since Teds scandal broke, he has made numerous news and network appearances to proclaim his "healing" by God. He has publicly claimed that he no longer has homosexual thoughts or tendencies. This is completely false. Ted has displayed homosexual tendencies to me within the past two years, and it's a secret I am no longer willing to keep. We have had lengthy e mail correspondence with Ted. We have had phone conversations, all verifiable. On one particular date while Ted was being hosted in the home of a family in St Louis, MO, we practically had phone sex,as he changed to get ready to go to 24 hour fitness, a gym he frequents regularly, at all hours. My phone statement of that date shows the multiple calls that Ted made to me that day, as he seemed restless and rambunctious. We discussed his real sexual interests. He told me about his party formula of porno, poppers, meth and Viagra and how he is into light sexual contact. I sent him a pic of me nude, to his phone, and he couldn't stop telling me how much I turn him on. He told me about some gay porn site he had a paid membership to. None of this was news to me. The only thing new was that he hadn't been cured of these desires. I realized that Ted was struggling. I've never doubted his love for his wife, because I've been there. I was once married and in the closet. I sat on this secret for a long time. I kept his secret because I felt sorry for Ted and his family, and I thought he sincerely cared about me. I didn't judge his sexuality. As I'm nearing the two year mark of my "friendship" with Ted, I'm starting to see a pattern re emerging with him. His fan base has grown large and yet he has never used his platform to speak out against bullying, much less how it relates to LGBT people. He has stated, publicly, that gays are welcome in his church, but privately, he has told me something different, and that's where I draw the line. Gay couples are not recognized within the walls of his new church St James. My "friend" would not accept my relationship in his church. This forced me to look back over the course of our friendship and find other inconsistencies and instances in which I was used by Ted to make himself look better, all the while, he publicly denied me credit for any of it. While I have felt so sorry for Ted and his family, and defended him to the LGBT community, I now sense that he saw me as nothing more than one of many pawns in his game of reinvention. That was a mistake. I will not allow anybody to use me to make himself look better than he is, especially if that somebody is under the misconception that he is morally superior to me. Ted Haggard is not healed of his sexual desires. He never will be, because there is no cure for being born the way he is. It feels wrong to cover for him at this stage.  When Ted can accept this, we can resume our friendship in reality, and not on the down low. If I attended his church with my family, it would make me a hypocrite, and that's not me. Ted has specifically told me that my civil union would not be accepted at St James church. My family is just as valid in God's eyes as the Haggard family is, and God welcomes us as we are. I will not bear false witness.

Now I know all the negative attention I'm gonna get from this blog. People will call me a lying fame whore. I admit the timing is perfect for all this to come to light. Wife Swap is about to expose Ted to a world of new fans. Its precisely the title of the show that makes this necessary. If marriage itself is truly a religious institution, as is so often claimed, then surely wife swapping, under any circumstance, is a violation of that sacredness. While its true there's no sex being swapped, the time, energy and caring that families receive from mothers is also sacred. So my civil union wouldn't be accepted in Ted's church, but it's perfectly fine for the preacher to share his wife for fame and fortune? For all the conversations I've shared with Ted, his wife Gayle has never spoken to me once. I'm quite sure she's well aware of the truth about her husband. Just look at the money they're about to make together.


Ted will most likely deny this and do everything he can t suppress the truth. He will probably blow up my phone as soon as he reads this. He may threaten t sue me, and he's welcome to try. If there's anything I've learned, as an investigative reporter, it is how to cover my ass and document the facts. I have a long history of being honest, even when it's not in my own best interest, and I'll gladly submit to a lie detector test.

 Every 5 hours, a gay person commits suicide. I have weighed the pros and cons of publishing this blog in my mind a million times. On one hand, there's Ted, his secret, my promise and his family. His family have been victimized enough. On the other hand, there are countless LBGT youth seeking God's love and guidance, who are being rejected, if only subtly by the church. For me to enter a new year keeping a secret that enables a preacher to be seen as healed of his homosexuality, when I know differently, would be wrong. Let the cards fall where they may. The truth shall set us all free.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Judge John David Myles of Simpsonville, KY, you're corruption is coming to an end

Corrupt Judge John David Myles

I am furious about this incompetent, idiotic, corrupt judge named John David Myles. How a pasty old homo wannabe like him ever got elected in Shelby County Kentucky to reign in family court is beyond my comprehension. He doesn't even have any kids of his own. What the hell qualifies him to make a decision about anybody else' kids? He has dragged out a custody battle in my family for years, ripping my niece and her kids apart, and that is going to stop. This blog is not solely intended for the purpose of humiliating him, if that happens, it's just a cool side affect. The reality is that he is biased, and unethical, and as soon as I finish this blog, he's being reported to the Judicial Conduct Commission in Kentucky to face charges for his ridiculous, hateful behaviour. Once the charges are filed, I'll be forwarding this blog and all other evidence against him, to his local newspapers and TV stations, as well as to any National media outlet that takes an interest. When a judge goes rogue, there are really only two avenues one can take to correct the matter, 1) report him to his higher authority, and 2) expose him in the press. I fully intend to pursue both options to the fullest extent of the law. This man deserves twice the stress that he causes, and if he has a conscience or sense of justice at all, he will be stressed to high hell by the time I'm done. For the record, I am not, nor will I ever, or ever have I made any illegal threats against this man, but I'll be damned if I don't take every available opportunity to put him in his place and shed a light on his corrupt ways.

First off, allow me to offer my personal observations of this apparent closet case. There is an entire youtube channel dedicated to his corruption, and it couldn't be clearer that he shouldn't be working at Burger King, much less be sitting behind his bench. He's rude and bitchy and more effeminate than most transsexual women I know. Secondly, it's clear that he hates his job, as he persistently whines and bitches about having to do it, as seen on publicly documented video of him calling a man who represented himself a fool. Only a fool would say that after taking an oath to uphold court ethics. He allowed one drug addicted mother to retain custody of her kids, after clear, video evidence was presented to him that she was neglecting them. That video shows her kids, in her basement, catching a ramp on fire and skateboarding on it. Myle's response was to refuse to look at that video, and to say, "How she chooses to heat her home in the Winter is not my concern." Either he's incredibly stupid, and that's rare for a judge, or he's taken the wrong side of the custody case and couldn't really care less about the children in question. Personally, I think it's a whole lot of both! He refuses to allow children who want to return to their parent/s any say in court, violating their right to do so. He may do a song and dance around that, but not without being called out publicly, and repeatedly. It is my mission to have him removed from the bench, and if the commission refuses to do so, I'll contribute to the campaign of whoever runs against him in the next election, and he will not retain his position. Shelby County tax payers deserve justice for their contributions to his salary, and all they are getting is a rogue idiot with a chip on his shoulder.He hasn't earned the respect of his constituents, much less the salary he receives from their hard earned paychecks.

His partner in crime, the county attorney, a Mr. Hart Megibben, is equally corrupt. My sister-stalker Starliene Waits is always causing trouble, filing false police reports on family members when she's angry at them, stealing the identity of her grandchildren to get cell phones without paying the bill, doctor shopping for percocet, and selling them to anyone with 10 dollars and a promise not to tell, etc.. This prosecutor refuses to prosecute Starliene, and I know why. He once represented her in a custody case, and that's a clear conflict of interest. He should step aside and allow someone competent to do his job as well. The Shelbyville police chief, Mr. Robert Schutte, refuses to enforce any law against Starliene. In fact, he's just a tool, of revenge that is, to Starliene. She calls her friend at dispatch, she calls the police chief, and he sends cops to anybody's house, for any reason Starliene gives him, to harrass whoever she calls him on. He's just a glorified pitt bull from hell, and he needs to be fired! I don't know what it is that my sister is holding over their heads, dealing to them, or doing with these men, but clearly, in their eyes, she can do no wrong, even when real evidence of her criminal activity is put right in front of their butt ugly faces! What I do know is that by the time I'm finished exposing their hypocrisy and ethical violations of the law they're sworn to uphold, they won't be able to show their faces in public without being seen as the completely corrupt assholes they really are! Strong language? Sure, but at least it's honest, and that's more than I can say for any of these bozos!

Hart Megibben

Robert Schutte

Judge Myles, girlfriend, you picked the wrong side of a custody battle, and it's far reaching affects have reached me. I have the dates and times of your misconduct, such as when you agreed to be judge and counsel, in favor of my sister Starliene in her ongoing custody battle with her daughter. You will be held accountable, and your little butt buddies too. All 3 of you manbitches can google yourselves, for the rest of your lives and find this blog on the first page/ That's what happens when you become a public figure and are exposed for corruption, so deal with it! You'll all be lucky if you don't have my producer friend from 20/20 crawling up your asses with a National investigative piece that will tell the world of your disgusting behavior. None of you clowns is above the law, and you will be held accountable for the shit you've done. I'll be forwarding the link to this blog to the mayor of Shelbyville, and to every resident with a publicly accessible e mail account within a 20 mile radius of your workplace, and since it contains pure facts, and my protected free speech opinion, you can't do anything about it but read it and weep, unless of course, you'd like to actually do your job and put Starliene Waits behind bars where she belongs, for once and for all!

Watch actual court video of Judge John David Myles, refusing to review evidence, demonstrating clear bias, insulting those who stand before him, denying a child the right to speak in court, and just being the asshole he really is at the following youtube channel, designed specifically, by someone whose family was ripped apart by this corrupt judge at the link below:

Click here to see real video of Judge Myles violating his oath, repeatedly

Here's a topix link with 28 ineresting comments on Judge Myles

Monday, August 8, 2011

County Clerk takes the Civil out of my Union

My civil union was not quite as civil as I had hoped. It turns out, nobody at the Lake County courthouse, here in Illinois, had any clue about how to advise me of my right to spousal name change. In fact, I was flat out wrongly advised, repeatedly, and told that I have to file for a legal, adult change of name. It costs $250 to file, not to mention any attorney fees. It takes weeks to months to complete because it requires me to change the name on my birth certificate. I don't have that kind of time or patience. No other married partner in IL has to file a legal name change. It's not equality if you have to pay for it. And so, I began my quest for the truth. It didn't take long to discover the website for LAMBDA legal, and follow the link to their Civil Union informational page. According to their page, all I have to do is go to the local DMV, take my civil union certificate and pay $5 for a name change. Then, I go to Social Security and the passport agency and basically do the same. It's so simple! I called the DMV to be sure it is true and a nice lady confirmed that it is. I'd like to say that everything at the courthouse was just a misunderstanding and that I believe the officials, in the Lake County Clerk's office, are well meaning. However, the call I made this afternoon to their office leads me to think otherwise. The woman who answered the phone was rude and misinformed and trying to misinform me, once again, unapologetically.

I had called to find out why it's taking so long to receive my certificate and she said, after keeping me on hold for quite a while, that these things take time. I asked if she was aware of the mix up last week regarding civil union partners and spousal name change. She immediately responded by telling me it has to be done in the courts. I told her that's not true. She insisted that it was true and specifically stated that it was because civil unions do not entitle partners to all the same rights as married couples. I must admit that it felt good to inform her that I absolutely do have every single right that any other married spouse in Illinois has, and that she can call the DMV and ask Tania herself. That seemed to silence her, momentarily, and then she said, "I'll share this information with everybody in the office. The governor's office sent us nothing about this.".

Wouldn't it be better if the Lake County Clerk's office actually took the time to review the laws they are sworn, under oath, to uphold and apply equally? Would it be too much to ask for someone to admit that they don't know the answer, rather than send me on a wild goose chase, based on their own personal assumption that I am not equal under the law?

I thought I'd get a different answer from the woman who sat at at the civil union information desk. We gave her our $10 and asked about how I can change my name. She became almost hostile, in defense of her obvious ignorance. I wasn't trying to sound accusatory, I simply wanted the correct info. She informed me that she is not a lawyer, civil unions are not marriages and that she doesn't give information, she just accepts payments. That's when I pointed to the arrow, pointing at her, that said INFO. I told her that I didn't see why I'd need an attorney, when no other married couple brings one to their courthouse wedding. I said, consider me pro se. Here's a print out of the law, here's how it's interpreted by the IL Bar association website, as printed yesterday. Either you know or you don't. If you don't, then, I'll take whatever steps are necessary to inform you, when I find out.

What keeps repeating in my head is the notion, by any of these people, that I am not a spouse and that I'm not subject to the same legal rights and responsibilities. I believe that my situation will be a recurring one if County Clerks across the state are not bothering to inform themselves of the law and the common processes that marriage and civil unions share. I believe that if the county clerk had put as much energy and manpower into learning the law they oversee, as they did into vehemently disagreeing with me, in front of everyone there that day, this might not happen to another couple, on their special day.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Story of a deceptive thief named Starliene

The following blog is not slanderous or fictional. It is a very detailed timeline of the criminal activity of one Mrs. Starliene Waits of Pleasureville, Kentucky. Public record will verify that it is correct and accurate information.

The reason I bring you this information is because my reputation is being attacked by this person. She is my older sister, and she has taken advantage of me all of my life. That ends today. Starliene Waits wrote an e mail message to my minor son today, in which she falsely accuses me of child molestation, implies that I've molested my own son. She then proceeded to invoke the name of our deceased, gay brother William, to insist that he told her nasty things about me that are simply not true. In this blog, I will demonstrate to you that not only is Starliene Waits a pathological criminal, and liar, but she's also a con artist an a guilty of child endangerment. I wouldn't go to these lengths to expose the hypocrisy of just anybody. It was her decision to involve my child, and her desire to continue to spread lies about me that have led to this reaction. I know she's reading this, so, Star, This is your fucking life!

It's easy to see how her conniving smirk could be mistaken for a grandmotherly smile. She's just that deceptive, but here's what you probably don't know.


1992 - Starliene tricked our mother into co signing on a loan for a vehicle. When Starliene missed payments on the vehicle, she, and our mother, were sued. Starliene was ordered to pay over $1300

1993 - A finance company sues Starliene and her husband and wins $2800 plus.

1994 - William, our now deceased sibling, asks Starliene to care for his small dog. He receives information that Star has been subjecting the dog to living outdoors, in extreme temperatures, and the animal was infested with fleas to the point of infected sores, located throughout it's little body. Upon receiving a call from one of Starliene's children, William rescued the dog from Starlienes home, with the aide of our youngest sister, Chrissy. Starliene's reaction was to threaten her youngest brother William and her youngest sister Chrissy with a shotgun. In July of 1994, both William and Chrissy filed orders of protection against Starliene. Video taped evidence of this dogs condition, after living with Star does exist, and can be posted online. For Starliene to invoke William's name, may he rest in peace, in an attempt to bring mental harm to my child is unforgivable. Especially when you consider that in this life, he had absolutely no trust in Starliene Waits, whatsoever. In fact, he couldnt' stand her, and I have him saying such, in more colorful language, on home video, as well.

1994- continued with Starliene being convicted of theft by deception for writing a bad check to a hair salon. She paid over $82 in restitution and was sentenced to 10 days in jail. She went on to get sued by a finance company who successfully won oer $2100.

1997 - Starliene, the woman who has been continuously granted custody over her grandchildren, was convicted of speeding with kids in her vehicle. If that's not alarming enough, she was also convicted of driving with a child without proper restraint. Even Brittany Spears didn't get away with that. That is considered child endangerment. How could she get custody of her grandkids with a rap sheet like this?

1998 - Starliene was convicted on two separate incidents for theft by deception for writing bad checks, costing her nearly $300 in restitution and fines.

1999 - Starliene is convicted of theft by deception for yet another bad check, this time, at Dairy Mart. She's ordered to pay &85 plus, in restitution, $25 fine and sentenced to 10 days in jail.

2008 - Starliene Waits is charged with failure to produce an auto insurance card when pulled over by a cop. Starliene purchased insurance on the same day she was pulled over, and presented her new insurance card to Judge Heron, who dismissed the case without catching the date Starliene purchased insurance. Not only did Starliene perjure herself, but she made a fool of the judge and got away with it. The Shelby County courthouse can find this information in their own records anytime they want, but it doesn't seem they've bothered to.

2009 - Starliene and her her husband are successfully sued by a Mark D. for restitution and sentenced to pay $750 plus court costs.

2011 - The brother of Starliene's husband attempts to file a domestic violence report against Starliene and her husband. The same judge who has been keeping Starliene's grandchildren in her custody, Judge John David Myles, denied this order of protection against Starliene by her brother in law. The judge cited his denial reason as being due to "insufficient relationship". Apparently, unless Starliene's blood is in your veins, you can't get an order of protection against her with Judge Myles. You also can't get your kids back from her.

Currently, Starliene Waits is facing eviction from an old country house. Last Winter, Starliene forced her grandchildren to endure frigid temperatures, in a home that is not equipped with any heating source at all. The entire family was left no choice but to bundle up together in one room with a space heater, while Starliene and her husband attempted to warm the house with a gas cooking stove, which is extremely dangerous. Star doesn't have any children. The 3 she gave birth to are all adults now, and her youngest daughter is now 30 years old. Starliene has custody of her two, teen daughters, thanks to Judge Myles. By comparison, Starliene's daughter doesn't have much of a criminal history at all. In fact, if you were to examine her record, you'd find that the only charges brought against her were by her own mother Starliene. Starliene once sent her daughter to jail for 9 days after her daughter failed to pay child support. Starliene knew that her daughter couldn't afford the usual &700 child support payment that month. She had just accompanied her daughter to the hospital for major surgery, which had put her daughter out of work, causing the late payment. That's the kind of mother she is, and there's absolutely no reason for anyone, especially a judge, to believe that she could make a good caregiver for an animal, much less a child.

So Starliene, If you've read this far, and you're actually literate enough to understand the words I've said..... Understand this! You are busted!